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Ziro from Zenmed

The Sad Truth About Hemorrhoids

Hemorrhoids affect almost everyone. Statistically, 1 in 10 people suffer from Hemorrhoids. If you’re not one of them, that person sitting beside you on the bus could be a sufferer.

Most of the causes are part of our daily activities or constitute necessary events in our lives:

• Constant sitting: who doesn’t sit? Constantly? We drive to work, we work, we eat, we relax… we’re always sitting. Who knew we could get Hemorrhoids by constantly sitting? Should chairs now come with Surgeon General Warnings?

• Straining with bowel movements: who doesn’t strain? It wouldn’t be called a movement if there was no straining involved. And the clincher is: a medical information website suggests not reading while moving your bowels. If you can’t strain and you can’t relax, what else is there to do?

• Diarrhea: I don’t want to touch this with a 10-foot pole… But here goes: You can barely hold it in, what else is there that you’re doing that can cause Hemorrhoids? Apparently some people still strain while moving their already very loose bowels. These people should be advised to read while sitting on the potty.

• Sitting on the toilet for a long time: why not? You can’t strain to move your bowels, so it’s taking you forever to move. Now that in itself can cause Hemorrhoids? Oy vey. A veritable Catch 22 with apologies to the late Joseph Heller.

• Severe coughing: this I can understand. Maybe doctors should recommend coughing while moving your bowels to accelerate the process… with the warning of course, not to cough too hard. I guess this is the answer to my question on what we can do if we’re not supposed to strain nor relax while in the toilet.

• Childbirth: when a woman pushes her baby out, everything else is straining to push out in that general region. It can’t be helped. Now, to ask the mother-to-be to stop reading while giving birth---that may not be such a bad idea.

• Heavy lifting: a medical information website suggests breathing out while lifting. Not a bad idea as well. Now, weight lifters (with poor technique) have something else to worry about---and here they thought having shrunken genitalia wasn’t such a big problem to begin with.
Hemorrhoids are a painful and people with this condition should not be humiliated nor made fun of. I am merely making light of the potential causes of the disease, not the sufferers---unless, of course you are a weight lifter.

Hemroids